We are certainly living a different way of life than we once were. Previously I would have craved the one on one time with my partner and whilst it was fun to start with all the extra togetherness during lockdown in the same place can make even the most devoted couples a little stir-crazy. Choosing to spend your life together with someone is different to spending every minute of every day together.
By this stage a lot of us are losing track of what day it actually is, going about our life like groundhog day which causes a sense of numbness to feelings, all apart of coping with all the changes going on in the world right now. It is a stressful time for many reasons and having mind blowing sex is not the first thing on my mind whilst organising what to do during lockdown.
So the question is how do you keep the love alive during lockdown?
Routines are important! Lockdown gives us the opportunity to lose the rigidity of normality, however sticking to regular sleep hours, waking up on time and making the bed are all things that prepare you for the day. Whilst the idea of lazing around in your pjs all day is comfy and enticing, having a shower and getting dressed enhances your wellbeing and allows you to be refreshed and ready to take on the day.
Whilst working from home, we often find ourselves investing more time into our work and not setting firm boundaries between work and home time (spending time together). The anxiety caused by the pandemic may tempt some people to lose themselves in work, particularly people who invest a lot of their personal identity in their professions. They miss the routine, the meetings, the structure that go with the regular workday. It’s important to not only have a brain break but to have planned quality time with your partner. Getting some fresh air together with a walk around the block, is a great way to reduce stress and will help strengthen positive connections. Why not try an online yoga class or gym class together for your lunch breaks, with the invention of the internet – the opportunities are literally endless.
Having the whole family together trying to work from home and manage the complexities that come with home schooling is a whole new ball game. It can cause frustration with one partner trying to contain the children whilst the other partner is on an equally important zoom call. Ensuring each partner is taking equal time with the children to help with the stress on their partner is essential, so feelings of resentment do not creep in. Booking out wellbeing days and organising fun activities for the children to participate in boosts the overall wellbeing of the whole house. What better way to spend some sneaky stress-free family time whilst walking hand in hand with your loved one as the kids ride their bikes.
As I mentioned previously, defining your workday and home time is imperative in keeping relationships fresh in these challenging times. We ensure our work life (including a quick email on the laptop or phone in bed) stays out of the bedroom. With the stresses of our current restrictions your sexual desires may not be the same. Ensuring the bedroom stays as your own sanctuary, to be together with your partner to create intimacy and time to be together should be the unofficial rule of lockdown.
Activities you could try to keep the love alive
With all the monotony try to plan something new, even with our restrictions there is still so many fun things to do together to reconnect with your significant other. Plan a special meal together, for added ambience why not take advantage of a crackling fire courtesy of YouTube? Light some candles- find your favourite Spotify play list and enjoy a night of cooking and dancing, all from the safety of your own home. Why not up the anti and engage in a Master Chef style challenge, where you both have the same ingredients and have to cook a dish? This challenge is an excellent opportunity for great conversation and asking questions to get to know your partner on a deeper level- enhancing the connection you obviously already have.
Invite your partner on a movie date by texting them early in the day. What better way to enhance your wellbeing and add a little romance by adding in getting dressed up and meeting at a certain time? Stock up on your favourite movie snacks, cook up some popcorn and enjoy a night at the movies as you cuddle and kiss together.
Organise a games night and if you don’t own any boardgames, google some great free online trivia games and even take your date that one step further (if the children are in bed) and organise a cheeky game of strip poker.
Look for ways to surprise one another daily, at one stage your flirting game was strong and over time it may have dwindled. Cute and sexy text messages are the lockdown equivalent of sultry date smiles. Recently, my partner rang me from the next room to tell me he was leaving work now and would be home soon but the traffic looked heavy. Having a sense of humour helps when we are all confined to the same space. Sending and receiving random cute messages throughout the day such as “Can’t wait to see you” or “You look cute today” keeps it light hearted and fun. Placing little notes around the house such as on the bathroom mirror, in their drawers, in the fridge or anywhere they are bound to look just to make them smile is a simple yet effective way to keep the love alive.
Surprise them with a sneaky breakfast in bed cooked by you or support your local small businesses by having something delivered for both of you to enjoy. Why not organise an outside picnic in the backyard or even set up an outdoor tent and have a weekend outdoors to break up the cabin fever, make some cocktails, have a bbq and enjoy some quality time together reconnecting away from the home office or dining room table.
The five love languages are an essential part of all relationships and touch is so important. Holding hands on your daily walks or cuddling on the lounge watching TV are an excellent start, why not think about giving each other sensual massages? This refreshing approach to keeping your relationship alive and reconnecting will lead to a heightened sense of intimacy.
Endeavour to create some alone time. As busy mums, we know even going to the bathroom is not an excuse for alone time and our little angels will always find us. Helping each other to initiate and create some space for you to retreat to and have some time out is imperative for the satisfaction of our own wellbeing, in turn allowing you to be a better partner.
Our sexuality is also strongly influenced by how we feel about ourselves. Drinking the umpteenth glass of wine while sitting around in track pants without makeup and being sad about all the things that aren't possible right now is totally okay. But doing sports, cooking something healthy and delicious and getting all dressed up for dinner at home are better ideas.
Surveys suggest that many couples have used the break from public life to invest in themselves, deepening their relationship through profound conversations, more intimacy and increased togetherness.
Lastly, remember that your partner is not just mum or dad they are your lover, so be sure to schedule some quality time to reconnect and remember why you love each other and always start and end the day with a kiss.